When BFF gets trouble

There are three important things in my life and beside from God and my family...it's my friends who completes the three. I have lots of friends and I can't even count them at all. I really love my friends. I really care for them. It's impossible for a person not to have a friend. It's needed, and actually our life if ever no one is there for you.

Our friends understand all. Good or damn, they're always there. However, a couple of bumps in the road of friendship are unavoidable. Don't let these detours make you break and lose your way. Just remember that with each other, you and your friend can still mark the word "BFF 4EVER".

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I've been breathing for 14 years already and I already encountered many...many problems when it comes to my best friend. And I overcame all of these just by myself and in just believing. As far as I'm concerned, there are 3 big friendship problems that I encountered. And I solved it hardly but effectively.

"My best friend has a new pal"

If you think about it, having other friends isn't bad at all. And if you are experiencing the feeling to be left out. Don't bother too much. It's natural that your best friend could find another friend. But of course, you may feel bit uneasy when another person suddenly steps into BFF circle with you.

Fixers:

*You and your best friend must have a better communication. Talk to your best friend. Tell him/her that, you miss being her sole bestfriend tremendously, though you're jealous that she/he has a new buddy.

*Don't get jealousy get in the way of your friendship. You're her best friend for a reason, you've got qualities and quirks she/he likes and that no one else has.

*Ask her what's the problem. No one knows if the problem is in you.


"Such a copy cat!"

Though it's nice having matching best friend items, you still like having your own identitiy, right?. I know and you know that copying and modeling you is flattering but it's also irritating.

Fixers:

*Sit down with her/him and tell the problem about this but in a respectful way. "NO OFFENDING"...the no.1 rule. Saying "STOP COPYING ME LOOSER!" at the top of your lungs is not an applicable option.

*Since he/ she is obviously looking up to you. Help her find your friend's own uniqueness.


"I spilled my BEST FRIEND'S SECRET!"

You said you'd keep your lips zipped, but somehow you still broke your promise and let the big secret slipped. Breaking someone's trust is the hardest part of all. A good promise that has turned into damn words is so complicated.

Fixers:

*The absolute best you can do is to apologize. If she/he gets mad, be humble and patient by giving your best friend time to let off some steam. Your best friend will appreciate it more if you own up to it than if you hide it and pretend you didn't make a mistake.

*Wait until he/she is ready to talk you again. Remember, you are the one at fault, so you can't be the one who decides when you think it's time for your best friend to forgive you.

*Make it a personal and forever resolution to watch what you say. A promise is something that should be kept. Do your best to keep it that way.

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Enduring the good and bad times are part of being best friends. Getting through a few friendship blunders will definitely result in a lasting friendship because you've shown each other that absolutely nothing can break your bond.

I'll always remember that the prime purposes of a friendship are happiness and forgiving.

Luchelle: stands corrected (again)

I know what's wrong and what's right. I also know that I'm too young to understand deep consequences.

I'm currently doing my project in computer. Specifically, about HTML. I already planned my schedule that the maximum time for that project is 5 hours. Yesterday, my mom was lashing out because my eyes might get tired and hurt because I spent the whole 5 hours in front of the computer. And I complained that it's a project. I told her not to bother and get mad because I'm doing it for my grades. Then she said "ang sakin lang, baka lumabo yang mata mo, kaya itigil mo na yan". I realized that she's just concern about my health.

LESSON LEARNED: find out the real motivation and don't complain.

Sometimes it's O.K. to be ANGRY!

angry...ok?!?

Are you familiar with these lines "I blame you!", "Shut up you stupid head!", "What the? stay away from me!"?. Those dialogs are so practical when you're referring about anger. It is a normal and legitimate reaction to feeling wronged, whether that wrong is real or imagined.

WHAT IS ANGER?

-FOR ME?


Anger is a complex motion. We are often frightened by our anger when we let out in destructive ways. On the other hand, we can also feel the effects of holding in our anger. Like an upset stomach, pressure , headaches (like the feeling of a blasting brain,damn).

Finding a proper balance and expressing our anger constructively are important but difficult emotional tasks. Duh, we are not born with an instinctive knowledge of how to focus on it or use it for our benefit or what. That is something that must be learned.

-BASED ON FACTS


Anger is part of the fight/flight brain response to the perceived threat of pain. When a person makes the cognitive choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening/painful behavior of another (person or organization, or any outside force) anger (as opposed to fear) becomes the predominant feeling, with behavioral, cognitive and physiological correlates. Further informations? just click here.

::grrr...anger::

To feel anger is neither good or bad. It is what we do with our anger, how we act when we are angry is so important. For example when we lash out in anger, later we may feel worse in remorse. However, when we discuss our hurt when someone who is understanding, we may feel better. And talking with the person who caused the hurt in the first place may create a stronger bond between you and that person.
It is difficult to a teenager like me to make the distinction between the emotion of anger and what is done with that anger. To a teenager, they are one and the same. Nevertheless, a teenager needs to learn the difference between the two.

We can control ourselves that we can feel angry and express our blames , yet not be destructive. In other words, it is O.K. to be angry, but it is not O.K. to behave in a destructive manner out of anger.

It is very important to make this distinction with yourself. We should not be chastised for feeling angry, only for destructive behavior. Eventually, we will learn the difference between feeling angry and acting out anger in harmful ways.

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Wondering why I posted the topic about this anger thing?. Hours ago, I arrived from school. It was very late. I went home exactly 6:15 , I think!?!. Class dismissed around 4:00-4:15pm. At that time I'm so hungry and I don't know why?!?...tulad ng isang P.G., I almost crawl because of hunger. Geeez, when I'm already at home, I kept on shouting "Naka ng...! Kainis!!!!" and whatsoever. Then my sister asked me to help her with some of her assignments. And I was irritated...I don't know if it's because of her face or what (peace grace ^_^). Then I shouted at her "heh! Umalis ka nga". My mom heard it then she said it's o.k. to be angry but in a nice way. Feel free to be angry but I don't need to hurt someone. No one interdicts someone to be angry. It's a prerogative but it has limitations. Nothing will happen if I shout and shout at the whole time, it already happened. All I need to do is to do it in a nice and calm way.

Now I learned something important. Thanks mama...sorry sis. Again, I learned from my mistakes.